I've Looked Over the Edge of the Earth

On this day in my life, I feel like I've had many valuable experiences that have led to a great deal of wisdom and understanding. I'm not saying I'm the smartest person on the face of the planet, I think we all know that, but I do have good common sense, I'm a good judge of character for the most part, and I'm learning more each day about the person I am and who I want to surround myself with. And through my impacted 27 years on this planet, there are still things that boggle my mind more than Christopher Columbus' when he discovered there was no edge to the earth.

One of these things is addiction. Even though practically everybody my entire life was an addict, somehow I just don't understand addiction. I don't understand how or why someone would continuously do something that hurts themselves and their loved ones so much. How can someone be so unable to just say no. What makes a person drink or get high morning, noon and night. This is something I'm sure I will never understand. And believe me, I'm not an angel, but I like to live life and experience things in reality, not in some induced sense of reality. I can have one drink too many a random Friday night, but the good Lord knows there's no way that will continue to happen the next night, AND especially not the next morning! I'm not an addict of anything, and I suppose that is the sole reason I will just never get it. But I still wonder what are the thoughts that float through an addicts mind after the last drink, or whatever it may be, and right before the next. Do they think of the pain they're causing?? Do they want to stop but can't control their hands?? Isn't there a line that everyone must cross that triggers the little bulb in the brain that holds up a stop sign and that's just it??

And on that note, I don't understand the incessant need for drama. Now, I'm not talking about the random drama of car accidents or stepping in dog poop. I mean, there are people who cannot smile if they don't have some level of drama in their lives each day. And I've had much experience with these people. They are starved for attention. Their lives are usually out of control, if not in all aspects, in most. They jealously conspire against people who have their lives together, in a plot to bring a stable person to their level, and when the plan fails, they all but implode. If they are not the victim, the world does not move. What is it that keeps these people so intent on remaining unhappy?? Why, instead of idolizing stability and courage, do these people scough and ignore their inherant desire to want to ask questions and learn how to be more progressive?? I've known people who stay in this putrid cycle of victimness for tens of years, and sometimes, as in this case, it takes a life threatening situation to bring some sense of reality and really make someone re-assess where their life stands.

I just couldn't imagine myself being so out of control, and I have my moments like the rest of 'em. But nothing is going to take me away from the opportunities that happen every day. If I was so busy trying to bring down someone who's seemingly perfect, because I can't afford name brands or I didn't get my butt off the couch and work out today, I think the chances that day would give me to become a better person would pass me by and never come back. What a waste of a day. So, hopefully this can inspire someone to really grab ahold of the reigns of their life. The Army had it right in the beginning, be all you can be! Stop making excuses for why life sucks, and please stop blaming others for where YOU are in YOUR life. This is exactly what I plan on doing day by day, and I'm sure at some point, I'll have one too many, and drama will take me away from being productive. But neither will control my life. Cheers.