Positivity Isn't Just Scientific

I planned out today's posting all night last night. I thought about the positioning of my points so that the reader could emotionally relate, no matter what their life experiences. I thought about the rises and falls. I knew what I was going to say. That is, until today.

Last night, a friend of mine suffered from a serious health altercation, and this morning before I sat to blog, I learned just how serious it was. She is probably THE sweetest person I, or anyone, has ever met. She's one of those people who just radiates positivity, and no matter what kind of mood you're in or what had happened to you in the hours before you crossed her path, she will make you smile, and, even if just for that moment, you will forget all that is bad. And here it is again; another example of shoulda/woulda/coulda. I was with this friend only a half an hour before the ambulance was called. And all I could think was how I didn't say everything I wanted to or that I didn't act as I wanted to, mostly because of all of my own personal drama that happened yesterday.

I decided it's my responsibility to make this horrible and terrifying experience something positive, no matter how hard it is to decipher positivity in any of it. I realize, now, how much of my life experiences I haven't fully dealt with. I realize I've been in this position many times in my life. With the passing of my grandma. With my mom's illness, and basically, the passing of her as I knew her. With my sister's passing. I'm always left thinking how I wasn't able to portray to them just how special and positive they were to me, and then it was too late. Always because I was so wrapped up in the negative drama I just seem to magnetize.

And, then, here I am. Forced to think and re-think every step of my life from the last thing I said or did until now. As if I should have known something was going to happen. But that's not it at all. What it is was that I should have been acting and maintaining myself to the best of my ability. I shouldn't bog myself down with the negativity, so I might be able to really just think back and enjoy my memories.

This is exactly why I'm committing myself to being the best person I can be. So I won't be too consumed to pay 100 percent attention to whomever I'm conversing with. So I will say everything my heart needs to say. So I will do everything my mind needs to do. So I can be just half the positive force my friend always is. So I can help others and change the world, because that is what positive forces do. I don't want another moment to pass that my full potential isn't utilized.

I sincerely ask for everyone's good thoughts, prayers, rain dances; whatever it is in your life that brings luck and wellness, for my friend's quick and true recovery. I hope that the next time I can see her, where she and I are both able to converse, that I will be the person I want to be, and that she will understand just how amazing a positive force like she is can be for the world. And I hope that, through this post, others will realize the importance of detoxing from certain dramatic forces and, instead, substituting them for positive.